Tales from the public toilet

There once was a girl called Lorraine Kelly

A Scottish lass who made her fame on the telly

On her most recent visit she joined a blackening truck

Joined in the fun and got covered in muck

We’re not all about spoiling the fun at OIC

We love the tradition and the revelry

We have a favour to ask of all you fun loving blacketeers

Leave the public toilets for those genuine clean bottomed peers

So, to be clear, stay away from our toilets when you’re all dirty

It’s not fair on our cleaners or other users who’re getting quite shirty!

PS – just to stress we aren’t pointing the finger at our national treasure or any particular group for making a mess – this is simply a general message to all 😊