“It was like watching a movie, but we were in it” - Ukrainian family rebuild their lives in Orkney

For those first few seconds of wakening from a deep slumber, a Ukrainian mother’s thoughts are not of war. 

The 32-year-old concept artist is back in her flat in the capital city of Kyiv and life is “normal”. 

“Then reality hits and all the harrowing memories come flooding back. It’s like living in an alternate reality and you cannot compare them,” Ally said. 

The family have already felt great personal loss during the war, with the death of Ally’s father and grandmother. Ally’s mother is a nurse and remains in the country, as do her husband’s brother and parents who work for the Ukraine military. 

“People are not only dying in missile attacks, being shot or in collapsed buildings, people, including children, are starving to death as aid cannot get through to them, others, like my grandmother are dying because they cannot get the medical treatment that they need. The war is much more than flying bullets and bombs.” 

Ally, her husband and two daughters have been living in Orkney since August 2023 – after first coming to the UK through the host scheme around four months earlier. 

After fleeing Ukraine at the outbreak of war, the couple travelled from country to country trying to find somewhere to live and a base to start rebuilding their lives, especially as they would have a newborn child. They were able to settle in Belgium, with Ally’s husband finding employment so they could survive. 

Coming from Ukraine’s largest city, with a population of just under 3 million, they never imagined that they would end up living on what feels to them to be a remote island. 

However, they have settled in well thanks to the welcoming community and are adjusting to the “quiet life”. 

“For the first three nights in Orkney I couldn’t sleep – it was so quiet. I was used to noise and city lights,” Ally said. “Now we sit and watch the stars – we have never seen stars like this before – and have been lucky to have witnessed the Aurora. 

“People have been very supportive in Orkney. Usually in a city people do not care who you are, it’s the opposite here – people care and we are very grateful for the support we have received.” 

Ally was expecting their second daughter when Russia invaded Ukraine in February 2022 and although the threat of war had been a deep-rooted and long-held fear, she is finding it difficult to process the reality of what has happened. 

“That morning I woke to some huge sounds. We live near a military station so initially I thought it was coming from there but then the glass in our windows started shaking. We lived on the third floor of a block of flats and I could see large explosions of light. 

“I started scrolling on my phone looking for news of what was happening and called my mother. We didn’t know anything at that time but my husband said ‘let’s go’.” 

The couple had been planning a week-long holiday in Germany so they were already packed and could slip out quickly in the early hours of the morning. 

“I have never seen my husband drive so fast. We headed for the Polish border. There were explosions going off all around and it was complete chaos everywhere. It was like watching a movie, but we were in it.  

“We were trying to be calm for our daughter, but no-one knew how to act.” 

It took them six hours to reach the border. 

They decided to make use of their planned holiday in Hamburg which gave them a little breathing space as to what to do next. Knowing it wasn’t safe to return to Ukraine, they continued travelling trying to find a place to rent and a job that would support them in the meantime. The family went from Munich to the Netherlands, then Belgium before finally heading to Kent in England to a sponsor family. They formed a close bond with the hosts, who are planning to visit them next month. 

The couple are able to work remotely, but Ally is concentrating much of her time on bringing up their two daughters – one aged five and the youngest just 17 months. 

“It has been very difficult for our oldest daughter who has asked, ‘where is our home?’ But she loves the school, has made good friends and is doing really well.” 

The couple’s grasp of English was very good before arriving in the country which has helped ease the transition and Ally is already giving back having started up art therapy classes for fellow Ukrainians. She ran the first one on Saturday (16 March) within the Youth Café – a familiar place for the refugees to get together to brush up on their English language skills thanks to a number of local volunteers, including the Council’s Resettlement Schemes Project Manager Nataliia Kuzmina. 

Ally is able to put her artistic skills to good use and this week saw the group create some wonderful floral watercolour pieces. 

“Painting allows me to escape for a while. I hope it will help others to switch off for a short time too. I watch the news every morning and we keep in touch with our families in Ukraine but there can be missiles flying about and they could die at any moment.  

“It’s so hard for them – they are still living in this nightmare and have such different experiences to us it’s as though we have no real understanding of what it is truly like for them and the horrors of everyday life that they witness.” 

Whilst it is difficult for Ally to know what lies ahead, their home in Ukraine no longer exists. 

“We are waiting for the war to be over, but we know we will have to start from scratch. We must look to the future for the sake of our daughters.”